Vows
by rune101
Summary: No one ever said the married life would be a walk in the park, but Zoro and Sanji have managed it thus far. Friendships, loves, trust, and the bond of family will be tested, but that's just life, isn't it? Established Zosan; Zoro/Sanji, slash.


A/N:: This is my first Zosan; hope you like it. Reviews and feedback are appreciated.

Disclaimer~ I do not own, nor do I claim to own the characters, settings, or franchises depicted herein.

* * *

**Vows**

* * *

"So Usopp and Kaya are getting married soon, I hear," Zoro said casually, spooning a small portion of chicken and gravy baby food into Luffy's mouth. The baby practically tried to gum the spoon down as well and Zoro had to nearly yank it back, though not a drop came out of the baby's mouth. But the little guy's taste buds probably haven't developed yet because the stuff coming out of the small jar labeled 'Grand Line's Baby Food' smells atrocious - nothing like any chicken and gravy he had ever had.

Zoro looks over the ingredients; the label reads chicken, gravy, and water, but he doesn't know if they lied about that or are just stretching the truth a little. He shrugs, bringing another spoonful to Luffy while making the sounds of an airplane, though it's not really necessary; the kid has a no-nonsense attitude when it comes to feeding time. His eyes are following the path of the rubber sheathed spoon intensely, and when Zoro does finally get it to him, he holds it in his cheek, banging the plastic table of his high chair for more with unexpectedly strong fists. "Swallow," Zoro guides, showing Luffy an exaggerated version, his Adam's apple bobbing.

Sanji paused for a moment, taking in the sight of the two, and then went back to rifling through the month's bills. "That so?" he asked offhandedly. "There a date set?"

Zoro stops his feeding momentarily to think that over but quickly returns to what he is doing when he catches Luffy preparing to scream and cry with quite powerful lungs, his eyebrows scrunched up, and his mouth open wide, a foreboding silence ensuing. "Nah, at least not yet anyway. Usopp's letting Kaya plan the wedding. Apparently she insisted and wants time for a custom dress and to coordinate everything." Zoro scoffs. "You know how women are."

Sanji raised a brow and rolled his eyes but chuckled nonetheless. Years ago he would have disagreed and thrown it back at him - his old man had brought him up to treat women like royalty - but spending years of one's life with someone had a tendency to soften a few traits. For example Zoro's terrible sense of direction - while still detrimental to Sanji's sanity when he refused to listen to him - wasn't as bad as it had once been. And Sanji didn't lay the flirtations on so heavily with women, where once he was practically at every one of their beck and calls.

"Should be sometime in autumn though," Zoro added with an amused smirk. He is actually _glad_ about the wedding for more reasons then just one of his close friends getting married. The whole affair is going to be so overstated and grand that it's going to be something like a forced vacation: exactly what the two of them need. He just wishes the whole thing were _literally _right around the corner, as in next week, instead of Kaya's version of soon: six months from now. Zoro supposes that they want to go through the whole process of picking out the venue, coordinating color schemes - not that he would know anything about that - he still doesn't get _what_ made certain colors look good together, getting a chef or caterer, the cake, the rings, and hell, who knows what else.

His and Sanji's own wedding had been simple enough. They had gotten married a _week _after their high school graduation. Zoro had bought the rings and given his graduation money, added with all his savings from his work at his friend Franky's dad's auto shop to Sanji and told him he didn't care what the wedding looked like so long as it didn't take forever to plan and it was official. It had resulted in a beautiful beachside wedding and him drunkenly convincing his friends that they should chip in and help buy the lovely beach house for sale there.

And, most unforgettable of all, the sex that night had been great. Sanji was just as gorgeous then as he is now. And sure, it had seemed spontaneous and all, but here they were, still together. Though Zoro couldn't say for certain their physical passion was like a burning flame anymore.

Luffy took Zoro's distraction as an opportunity to skip the middleman and make a grab for the glass jar, peering inside it but finding it empty. He still stuck his fingers in and licked off the rest of the baby food that clung to the sides.

Zoro's phone began ringing and he glared at it for a few moments while he used Luffy's otherwise spotless bib to try and wipe his fingers. Luffy giggled and smacked him with an open palm lightly, smearing the rest of what was on his hands across Zoro's face. With a huff he picked up the phone. "Hello?"

_'Hey,' _the voice on the other line started conversationally, _'listen, I know you're busy, but it would be super if you could spot me for today.'_ Franky said, working in a little work-out humor. Zoro and he worked as trainers at the Merry Fitness gym. He was supposed to have today off, wherein he intended to serenade (metaphorically of course, his singing was unfortunately not salvageable to any degree) himself into the Promised Land, also known as Sanji's pants.

Of course he had made one too many novice mistakes, the first of which being mindlessly accepting taking care of Luffy. But Ace still hadn't come to pick his son up yet. What was promised to be a few hours at most was starting to look like an overnight stay. Zoro loved Luffy - that wasn't up for debate - the kid was great, if not just as overly energetic as his father. But he had been babysitting him _all week_ on top of working at the gym and taking extra hours on here and there at Nami's casino. Though he didn't tell Sanji that because he knew he would overreact; first of all he would say Zoro was overworking himself and try to use that as an excuse to do the same, and secondly Sanji had made it quite clear, in _no_ uncertain terms, that he didn't want Zoro working there when Nami had approached the both of them about a possible job.

And babies in the house never equaled scoring. Zoro sighed, resigned to his sexless fate. "Hey, Sanji, you gotta work today, babe?" Sanji shook his head. "Is it okay if I take off for the gym then? Franky needs me to cover for him."

Sanji mouthed 'Robin?' but Zoro merely shrugged. He didn't know because he didn't ask, and he wasn't about to because it was none of his damn business. Sanji nodded. "No. I've got Luffy."

"Okay. Thanks babe." Zoro turned back to his cell which he had muffled against his thigh while he multitasked wiping Luffy's face and more thoroughly cleaning his hands as he giggled and squirmed in his hold. When he had done that he put the bib and wash towel in the washer and stuck Luffy in his playpen with a handful of toys.

As Zoro got his keys, Sanji pulled him into a chaste kiss with a customary "Be safe" that made him smile and pull his husband into a slightly deeper kiss. They parted and Zoro held Sanji for a small moment before telling him to have a good day.

Zoro got in the car and, though he would never admit it aloud, thanked God that Sanji had installed a fancy GPS system into his BMW and had saved all the places that he usually frequented throughout the day. "Job," he said to the near-magical thing, and it picked out the fastest route.

Zoro put on some music, checking to make sure his windows were all _closed_, and started singing along, lightly tapping his hand on the wheel while putting his turn light on with the other. When he pulled up he recognized the beachy looking van with towels and a surfboard visibly thrown in the back.

He parked his car and got out, remotely locking it twice - just to be safe, and making his way in.

He was greeted by Tashigi who sat at the front counter and waved him in. "Are you here to take over for Franky?" she asked.

Zoro nodded. "Yeah. Is he still in or did he leave?"

"He's still in," she answered, and picked up the phone that began to ring. "Hello, this is Merry Fitness, Tashigi speaking. What can I do for you today?"

Zoro left her to it, knowing full well the woman - who was admittedly a scatterbrain - would need all of her attention focused on booking clientele. After all, though the season was still being embraced by a frigid cold, soon it would be delving into spring, and they were always busy then, though not as much as they would be come summer.

Zoro went into the elevator, pressing the correct button that then glowed a faint orange and took him to the third floor. As soon as he stepped off he was greeted by Franky, the man himself. "Hey man," Zoro said, putting his hand out and pulling him into a brief hug, patting the guy's back twice. "How you holding up?" he asked quieter.

Franky sighed. "I guess I'm holding up just fine, you know bro. Can't say that I'm doing super though. Cause after today it's official." Zoro gave him a sympathetic look.

"You two still living together?"

"On again, off again," Franky replied, mussing his own blue hair. "Some days I've been crashing at Usopps', but he and Kaya are moving in together so..." he trailed off, "hotels and stuff," he muttered, not wanting to be pitied.

"Well you're always welcome to stay with Sanji and I." Zoro offered, but as soon as he did his left eye twitched. _Great_. Genius-fucking-idiot. Did he just offer up their place for him to crash at?

"Thanks man. You're a good friend." Franky said.

Zoro nodded. _No_, he thought. _You're not supposed to say that. You're supposed to say thanks for the offer, but I'm okay. Or something!_ Now he definitely wasn't going to be getting any. Not if Franky decided to set up fort in their living room. And Zoro knew he would never hear the end of it from Sanji. Mostly concerning his leather couches. Because not even _Zoro_ was allowed to sleep on the damn things. "No problem... What are friends for?" he chuckled uneasily but Franky didn't notice, instead handing him a clipboard.

Zoro looked over it. "So I'm just heading a personal training session?" he asked.

"Yeah. They're waiting in the gym," Franky, motioned vaguely behind him. "They have a two hour session, but they're no strangers," he said with a smirk. "Then an hour and a half on the second floor-"

"Wait a second," Zoro cut him off. He scratched the back of his head nervously. "You _know_ I can't swim, right?" the second floor was the pool area. It came equipped with a sauna, a large pool room, and of course several changing rooms.

"Not to worry bro," the other reassured. "It's a session for the older kids who already know how to swim, and a group of kids that will be learning in the shallow end. You just need to help out wherever you see fit. We're just a little short-staffed today. Then afterwards do shut-down and clean-up on the floors." Zoro nodded, though he _hated_ shutting the place down. It wasn't that he was some fitness maniac who believed the gym should be up and running twenty-four/seven, but more like the place was really dark and creepy at night. Not that he was actually about to say that aloud; he was no coward. At least not in his head.

With that Franky left with a wave and Zoro snapped out of it, practically running into the gym. Somehow he had let it slip his mind that he had two paying clients waiting on him. When he got in he saw _why_ Franky hadn't made a big deal out of who they were; it was Nami and Kaya.

"Hey," Zoro said. "What brings the bikini models to a place like this?"

Kaya laughed softly, pinching the lower region of her stomach. "Too many of Sanji's Christmas cookies. I need to lose some weight or else I'll have to order my dress two sizes _up_." Zoro joined in lightly, setting up the treadmill machine for the both of them, making sure not to add anything to the opinions on their weight. Women were sensitive about those types of things.

"Me too," Nami laughed as they got on and started out with a slow paced jog. Zoro surmised that the best part of instructing women was the fact that the longer they worked out, somehow, the better they smelled. It was as if their numerous body lotions and perfumes were heat activated or something. Of course that wasn't true of _every_ woman he had done a work-out session with, but it was true of the vast majority. Certainly preferable to the strong odors of some of the less fit guys Zoro had to politely endure the smell of.

"I just can't believe that Robin and Franky are getting a divorce," Nami said looking over to Kaya who nodded. Zoro upped the speed by one on both of their treadmills. Here it came; it never failed to arrive. The favorite mode of transport for nearly every woman; the gossip train.

"I know," Kaya replied, I mean those two were just the sweetest couple. I hate the thought of this all happening."

"I heard through the grapevine that Franky cheated." Nami lowered her voice scandalously, but was nowhere near a whisper.

"_What_?" Kaya shouted. "But those two have a daughter together. Why would he do something so shameless?"

Zoro was trying _really _hard not to pay attention. He would have rather found out by Franky - his friend - than listen to likely baseless rumors. But in all honesty he was curious. And their conversation was distracting Zoro from looking at their butts. He swore he was so pent up that even Nami was starting to look attractive.

"Yeah. Guess the fame got to his head or something. Didn't you hear that he got a photo shoot and cover deal with One Piece's magazine? Heard it was a model he slept with."

"_Tch_. You would think he would have the decency to break it off officially first. I mean Robin can't be model-thin after having _their _daughter. The mother of their child," she trailed off, shaking her head.

_Damn_. Zoro thought. You were in dire straits if Kaya, of _all _people looked down on you. The girl was practically the embodiment of all things sweet. Of course she was a bit _too_ sweet for Zoro's liking. He never had much of a sweet tooth anyway, and he needed someone who could keep him in line. So Sanji was perfect.

"My wonder is who's gonna have custody of Vivi." Nami wondered aloud a little too innocently. Zoro upped both of their speeds by three.

"Probably Robin." Kaya stated, growing slightly out of breath. "I mean of the two she has a more stable job and lifestyle in general. Plus Franky's moving out of the house-"

"Yeah, and with no place no permanent place to stay, I guess that's a safe bet," Nami picked up, following Kaya's train of thought.

"Exactly."

Zoro turned their machines down to the lowest pace so that they were now walking slowly and waited for them to cool off a bit, though not too much. Then he gestured to the arm lifts and put five pounds of resistance on the both of them before shutting the treadmills off completely.

Zoro added on another ten pounds, which was Kaya's comfortable limit, but added more onto Nami because she was still lifting too easily.

"So, enough about _failed_ marriages. What about your wedding plans?" Nami easily transitioned and Zoro thought that it was a bit insensitive. Okay. _More_ than a bit.

Kaya was too excited to notice though and began pumping her arms up with more vigor. "I'm _so excited_," she gushed. "It's going to be amazing!"

"Really?" Nami asked rhetorically. "Have you already picked out your dress?" _Oh God_, Zoro internally groaned. If there be any justice in the world he hoped it would come through for him now. The last thing in the _world_ he wanted to hear about - well, his dad and father-in-law's sex life trumped that - was boring wedding plans and even more uninteresting was all the shopping to be done for it.

"No but I have an appointment in two weeks with One Piece!"

"You're getting your dress from _One Piece_?" Nami bellowed. "I heard getting an appointment there takes _forever_." And it usually did, what with the company being a premiere clothing brand that specialized in designer material: their wedding line being such top sellers that they had opened their own bridal store. And One Piece had even branched off to have its own magazine - which was quite popular.

"It does!" Kaya confirmed. "I went in for a consultation, gave them a rough idea of what I wanted, and they originally said that I had to wait four months. But lucky for me they said they have an earlier spot open because of last minute cancellations.

"Who the hell cancels their appointment for a wedding dress at One Piece? It's unheard of!" Nami shouted. _And who the hell pays outlandish prices for a dress by some famous schmo when they can get a look-alike at a bridal store at the _mall _for a fraction of the price?_ Zoro thinks to himself.

"Right!" Kaya agrees. "And I can't wait to see our rings. We're getting them custom-made. It's going to be set in 24 karat white gold," Zoro wasn't about to burst her bubble by saying that was an unnecessary expense, seeing as gold, especially _pure_ gold, is extremely pliant and susceptible to dents, scratches, and the like. "We're getting a natural yellow and black diamond so we can secretly infuse a lock of our hair into it. The smaller gem pieces are going to be the actual amethyst that Usopp gave me when we met on the beach on our first date."

The idea is sort of cool, Zoro has to admit. But he definitely feels for their pocketbooks. Even though Kaya's family is loaded, he knows Usopps' pride will get in the way of letting the family take care of all the wedding expenses.

After about fifteen minutes more, the two are gulping from their water bottles as if they had just successfully crossed the Sahara or something. Zoro gestures to the leg lift and they pretty much repeat the process, adding on weights.

"So, how _is_ the married life?" Nami suddenly asks, and it takes Zoro a few moments to register that the question is directed at him. He had been spending the last hour and a half listening and making no (audible) commentary, so it threw him off a bit to suddenly become an active participant.

Kaya looked interested as well. "You two are so cute," she commented, holding her hand to her face lightly. Hm. Deja vu. And where had Zoro just heard _that_? Oh yeah. About Franky and Robin, right before the two picked apart their relationship. "I mean, you guys are like the perfect little couple. You compliment each other so well."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "For an outsider looking in, maybe," he said and instantly regretted it. Unfortunately this gets the pair's attention like any other scandalous gossip would. Zoro doesn't exactly want to put all their problems out on the table so he shrugs, deciding to give a cop-out of an answer. "When they say the spark dies after marriage...well, they're not completely wrong."

_"What!"_ Nami yelps. "I wasn't aware you and Sanji had lost any of that."

Zoro bit his lip. He hadn't meant for it to come out like _that._ He hadn't even planned on hinting towards what had been on his mind. But damn if his right hand wasn't cutting it.

Kaya laughs instead. "I think he's talking about all the _extra _effort. You don't have to try so hard after you're monogamous." Wasn't that the truth. They were so comfortable that they did things that they would have never even thought of while they were simply dating in high school. Like showering while the other was on the toilet or just letting one out without apology.

Nami scrunched her face up. "Well I want a guy who doesn't let the _spark_ die." she said with cruel emphasis. "Even after we've been married for years."

"And that's why you're still single," Zoro replied smoothly and he could see Kaya avert her eyes, holding back a giggle. "Too high maintenance."

"_Psh_." Nami sneered. "Men nowadays just don't know how to treat a lady. And all the good ones are already taken." Nami crossed her arms and pouted as Zoro brought out the mats for her and Kaya to begin their cool-down stretches. "Besides, I kinda want to be in the friend circle."

Zoro raised a brow and scratched the back of his head. "Well, aren't you already? Unless you've finally found a way to piss everyone off and-"

"No you _idiot_." Nami cut him off with an undertone of affection to her insult. "I mean haven't you noticed?" When Zoro shook his head, she sighed. "All of our friends are dating, married, or in love with each other." she said with envious force behind her voice. "You and Sanji, Kaya and Usopp, well, don't know where Franky and Robin stand right now, but them too!"

"Well what about Ace? Or Brook?" Zoro asked in earnest but only received a raised brow for his query.

"What _about _Ace?" she returned. "Love the guy to death. Wouldn't sleep with him for the world." she ignored the comment about Brook; the guy was the father figure of their group and over a decade older.

Zoro laughed despite himself. "Give the guy a chance. Besides, Luffy loves you. Heck, if you're single long enough you can wait until the kid hits eighteen," Zoro chuckled and Nami resisted the urge to throw one of those perfectly closeby weights that were sitting on the metal rack to her right.

"Shut up Zoro. I don't need advice from you. If Sanji had any sense he wouldn't have married you in the first place."

Kaya frowned but Zoro didn't take the comment personally. He knew she was just smarting from the fact that more or less all of her friends had someone. Zoro didn't know the feeling, but what he did know was that he didn't _want_ to, either. "You're a wonderful woman, despite your many flaws," Zoro laughed, dodging the redhead's fist, "and any guy who can't see that is obviously not worth your time." Nami smiled back after a moment at that.

Tashigi on the intercom announced the time, an indicator that their session was up. Kaya looked at Nami expectantly, waiting for her to say something back to Zoro. But after a few awkward silent moments had passed she resolved to give up. "Well, we'll see you later," she said, walking over to the elevator. Nami hesitated for a moment and joined her.

Zoro took the few minutes he had to spare to put the mats back and reset the added weight on the lifting machines to zero. He then followed their example, taking the elevator one floor down to the pool area.

As soon as the doors _pinged_ open he was hit by the powerful smell of chlorine infused pool water and warm steam emanating from underneath the door to the saunas.

Zoro went into the locker room and pulled out his key for the instructors' office, taking his swimming trunks from out of his own. It was dry and unused - after all, what use was a swimming instructor that couldn't _swim_?

He took them and locked the office up again, changing unashamedly in the locker room and before going back into the instructors' office and putting his things in his locker there. All of this took less than three minutes and Zoro went to the pool room, taking a deep breath as he stared down its clear, height-marked depths. His pulse was rising slightly but he pushed down that fear. These little kids, some no more than five years old, didn't look afraid, so why should he?

Boa was there in her skin-tight black bathing suit that did nothing to hide her considerable breasts.

"Zoro...?" she asked.

"Uh, hey." Zoro awkwardly replied, not knowing where to look. "I'm the replacement. Despite the fact that I can't swim," he added in a mutter.

"_Oh_." she grinned wide and raised one perfectly shaped brow. "Well that's no problem. The kid's session is in the shallow end. I promise you you won't drown in four feet of water. And if you do go under," she cackled, "I'll just remind you to _stand up_."

"It's great to know my life is in such capable hands," Zoro said in a sarcastic monotone. She laughed and Zoro sighed before hopping in the water and nearly hopping right back out at the shock from the temperature change. He told himself soon he would adjust and then he wouldn't want to get _out _of the water.

The kids filed in and Zoro stayed put. "Hey guys!" he greeted and a small girl reminded him she was a _girl._ "Come on in everyone!" there were ten kids even, six boys, fours girls. All but one of the boys dived right in and the girls came in slowly, loudly complaining about the cold water. From there Zoro handed them paddle boards and two of the boys started taking off with much more swimming skill than Zoro could ever muster. "Come back here!" he reminded and thanked God that they actually listened to him. It wasn't as if he could actually swim _after _them. He set all the kids up doing flutter kicks while holding onto the railing, thankful that he remembered even that. Then he went to get the boy who was sitting on the steps, legs submerged, but making no move to join the group.

"Hey, why don't you come in?" he asked, but the boy shook his head, looking into the water fearfully.

"I don't wanna d-wow-n," the boy protested.

"I won't let you drown," Zoro said. Hey, all he had to do was bend down and pluck these kids out of the water should any of them go under, right? So it technically wasn't a lie.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Zoro reassured. That got the kid to get in and Zoro directed him to the middle where he was instructing. He had figured being close would provide enough assurance.

* * *

Luckily not one of the kids decided to go and drown on Zoro's watch. "You were pretty good out there," Boa commented, causing Zoro to look up from the paddle boards he had been collecting and stacking up.

"Thanks," he chuckled. "Was still unnerving to be in the water with kids who mostly can't swim when I'm no better off myself."

"That's why it's a group effort." she smiled. "So, wanna get a few drinks after this?" Zoro wasn't dense enough to overlook the woman's obvious flirtations. Boa was a newer instructor, and she only taught swimming, so she and Zoro had hardly crossed paths. He knew her name and she knew his. Maybe they had had a few polite conversations that weren't really about anything in the elevator or in the halls. She probably didn't even know he was married, especially because he didn't wear his ring. He had told Sanji that it was a special reminder that he kept close to his heart, that he didn't need to flaunt to the world, but the truth was that he had lost it in the ocean somewhere, the day he and Usopp had gone fishing on one of their shared vacations.

Zoro opened his mouth to tell her but the devil on his shoulder told him otherwise - whispered to him that what was a little fun, a few drinks between coworkers? Besides, she wasn't a part of Zoro's inner circle of friends and didn't seem like a gossip. It wasn't like the next thing he knew he would be hearing Nami and Kaya conversationally judging him on _his _missteps. And Sanji didn't know her.

"Actually, I'm driving home." Zoro declined, his sense finally kicking in.

"Oh? Too bad...maybe next time?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah." Zoro gave a weak smile, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest in guilt. He waved goodbye and walked as fast as he could without being too obvious, locking up after he changed and making sure the other floors were shut down and secured.

Of course when he got to the fourth floor - the dance and aerobics rooms - he ran from room to room, locking up, shutting down, and replacing any equipment that had been missed where it belonged. It was especially dark and eerily quiet; a few miscellaneous creaks had him peaking over his shoulder into the pitch black, with only his phone as a source of light.

And in horror movies, Zoro reminded himself, this was the point where the idiot - in this case _him_ - who was stupid enough to go it alone to somewhere dark and suspiciously _off_, but deceitfully innocent, meets their Maker. Zoro closed and locked the last door, speeding down the hall to the elevator after taking another glance back into its sightless depths. He hit the down button repeatedly, the elevator _pinging_ but making no move to go any faster than normal. Zoro glanced through the small glass window leading to the stairwell.

If the elevator stayed on its current track of taking its sweet time he could always take that. But then again the stairs were even creepier, one door on each level after each flight of stairs. It was dark as well because the stairs' main lights were off. And despite the gym being a _gym,_ a great many seemed to forget the stairs even existed and took the elevator. So it was probably dusty on top of creepy. Unless the janitor decided to be upstanding and clean it up while knowing he could get away with not doing so.

Nah. That wasn't possible.

Elevator it was then.

Zoro heard an odd sound behind him just as the double doors slid open and he quickly slipped inside, harassing the _close_ button and pressing _lobby_ a few times more than was absolutely necessary.

As he nearly ran out of the building, locking the doors behind him and jumping into his car, he convinced himself that he wasn't scared at all. He was just being punctual. Yeah; that was it.

Sanji probably needed help. Luffy was a bit of a handful after all.

"Agh!" Zoro yelped as his phone suddenly rang and in his surprise he nearly threw it, scrambling to catch it with uncoordinated fingers. He caught it twice but each time it slipped from his grip and landed somewhere near the passenger's seat. Zoro felt around blindly for it but thankfully spotted the square of light coming from under the seat. Whoever this was it had better be important. He swore they just shed years off his life.

Zoro slid the green phone icon to the right, accepting the call without glancing up the few centimeters it took to see who it was. "Hello?"

'Hey.' Thankfully it was just Sanji, and not the nightmares his mind had concocted in its adrenaline fueled fight-or-flight moment.

"Hey." Zoro repeated, this time far more warmly. "What's up babe?'

'Just calling to see if you're off work yet,' Sanji answered affectionately.

"Yeah, I'm in the car now," Zoro said, setting his GPS destination to home and starting up the car. "Is Luffy still there?"

'No, Ace picked him up an hour after you left.' Sanji laughed and the sound was melodious. 'I was surprised actually. Thought we'd end up having Luffy over for the night.'

"You sound disappointed," Zoro teased.

'Don't get me wrong, I love the little guy. But I also love to give him back to his dad.' Zoro laughed at that.

"Need me to pick up anything?"

'Nah, we should be good. I'm gonna go shopping this weekend.' Sanji said.

"Okay then I'll see you at home. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

"Bye." Zoro hung up and followed the audible directions from his GPS, resisting the urge to turn when it told him to go straight, even though he could have sworn he was supposed to do so. Either way he ended up home just fifteen minutes later, thankful that the traffic was never too bad at night in this neighborhood.

Seeing him pull up, Sanji opened the door and Zoro took off his shoes, kissing Sanji slowly before locking up behind him. "Yum, what's for dinner?" he asked.

Sanji smiled and served two plates of stir-fry.

They ate on the couch, Sanji leaning up against him as they watched a variety show.

When they were done eating Zoro washed the dishes while Sanji refrigerated the leftovers and wiped the counters clean. Zoro turned off the TV which they had been idly half-listening to from the kitchen and they both headed back to their room.

"Wanna take a shower with me?" Zoro suggested, his forefinger tracing a path down Sanji's thigh.

"I'm tired babe." Sanji declined with a groan.

"Just a shower?" Zoro bargained. "No funny business, I promise. Scouts' honor."

"Okay." Sanji agreed and Zoro didn't push any further, seeing the exhaustion plainly in his husband's features. Sanji was too tired to point out that Zoro had never been a scout in the first place.

When they got in the shower Zoro willed his body not to react at the sight of Sanji, naked and gorgeous, and oh-so perfectly wet from the steady stream of water coming from the shower head. Zoro put the coconut infused body wash on the sponge and let it caress Sanji's body, the spray of water rinsing off the suds.

They traded places and Sanji washed Zoro's back, stopping to wrap his arms around the man and kiss his neck. Zoro leaned back into the gentle, comforting touch and lathered and rinsed their hair.

Afterwards, they wiped the foggy mirror and the few stray drops of water that managed to make it past the shower curtains and dressed in their pajamas: a simple affair of worn shirts and loose sweatpants.

Zoro wrapped his arms around Sanji and held him, Sanji throwing his leg over Zoro's. The contact was warm bliss; the same kind of sweet elation Zoro was used to almost every night. Sure, sex would be nice, but when his body relaxed, thanks in no small part to picturing Sanji's dad - Zeff - naked (he was still shivering at the thought), this felt just perfect. He just hoped he didn't have nightmares. What with picturing one of the many banes of his existence and all.

* * *

As dawn broke, a distinct lack of birds due to the cold, but the sounds of cars on roads commenced. And so did the ringing of Sanji's phone. There was shuffling and attempts at disentangling, but in the end to no avail; they just ended up shuffling toward the edge of the bed as one, Sanji answering his phone - unlike Zoro - looking at the contact first. "Hey Dad." and Zoro's blood ran cold. Damn. "What? You're coming over?" Sanji chuckled, "Of course you're welcome over here old man."

_Wait, what! _Zoro thought, his eyes growing to the size of saucers before the left one twitched in agonizing anticipation of what horrors were about to befall him. Oh dear God, please don't say his father-in-law was going to be staying over. _Anyone _but him. Please, _please_ don't say-

"How far are you? You're at the _door_?" Sanji got up and Zoro heard his bare feet pad across the wood flooring, the lock to the door coming open and the boisterous laughter that could only come from a few people he knew. Zoro just lay there, helplessly wishing the man just stopped by to say hello or something.

"Hey Eggplant. Where's that lousy husband of yours?" he heard the man ask.

"Oh, he's in the bedroom. But _Dad_," Sanji added in a warning tone.

_Damn Sanji...Why did you have to go and reveal my hiding place?_ Zoro thought. He could have pretended he was at work or something.

"As long as he's treating you right." Zeff said begrudgingly. "Anyway, that's not what I'm here for. I've found the perfect space to reopen the Baratie. I was wondering what yours thoughts would be about helping your old man out?"

Zoro internally groaned at what he had just heard while eavesdropping. He sure hoped Sanji wasn't about to start working with his father. Then that meant Zoro would have to see Zeff a lot more often. And any more of the man in his life was hazardous to his health.

"Eggplant. You didn't tell me about Kaya getting married. Isn't she one of your friends? I only heard about it because a caterer I know told me. Said the girl needed something along the lines of two hundred cupcakes. So how about it? Why don't you make it for her? I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

"_Oh._ It's probably for her house warming party." Sanji answered, "The wedding isn't for another six months."

Whoa, whoa, wait a second. Sanji was already busy as it was with his at-home catering business, not to mention he taught cooking classes. If he took on a job as a cook for Zeff, and _then_ on top of all that endeavored to make _two hundred _cupcakes, that would suck up all of his time. And Zoro sure as hell wasn't gonna get laid then.

Besides, who the hell needed that much food for a _house warming_ party, anyway?

Zoro rushed out a bit too quickly, at too convenient a moment, making it obvious he had been listening in on at least some of the conversation. "Uh, hey." he greeted awkwardly, just now realizing that sometime last night he had ditched his shirt.

Zeff looked him up and down, a disapproving sneer on his face. "Where's your shirt, _boy_?" Zoro bit the inside of his cheek, resisting the urge to be rude and tell him that he must be confused and have the wrong person because he was no _boy_. He was a fucking _man_. And he was a guest in _his_ house.

"I believe it's somewhere in the bedroom," he said instead, knowing it would irk the man just as much, without getting him in trouble with Sanji.

"You tryna hanky-panky with my son, you green-haired delinquent?"

"I already have!" Zoro retorted, sticking his tongue out in an entirely adult manner. "We're married, in case you haven't noticed, you old geezer." And who the hell even said _hanky-panky_ anymore, anyways?

"Zoro, Dad! You two get over yourselves so we can all get along!" Sanji yelled, coming to stand between his father and husband. He sighed. Their feud was petty and ridiculous, and sometimes he felt like he was was less the reason why they were fighting and more of an excuse for them to get under each other's skins. "Can't you two just be _pretend_ to be civilized around each other?" he bargained.

_"No!"_ was the simultaneous answer he received from them.

Sanji sighed. This wasn't how he wanted to spend his Saturday. He wanted it to be peaceful and if things permitted, he wouldn't have minded slow and sensual sex, after all both his and Zoro's busy schedules had meant a lot less intimacy. But making a part of Kaya's party special sounded great because the girl was just as sweet as any dessert. "I'll do it," he said.

"Ah, great." Zeff walked out of the door and came in before throwing a duffle down. "Eggplant, Delinquent, what are you two waiting for? Help me with my bags."

"_What!_" Zoro yelled in protest. "Hell no old man. There's no way you're staying here with us."

"So you would put your own father-in-law out?" the man said, shaking his head, as if he hadn't just insulted him not even a minute prior.

Zoro opened his mouth to confirm that he would indeed and in fact do so, or at least pay for the hotel. Even if right now they weren't in the right place financially; hell, he would open a new credit card and mentally file it away as the Get Rid Of Zeff fund - donations welcome.

He was about to put an ultimatum on the table: Zeff leaves or he does, but when he caught Sanji's pleading look, glassy eyes trying so hard reason with him, he gave up. He was whipped, no doubt about it. The thought of tears coming from his husband's ocean blues made his chest tighten to the point where it was hard to breathe.

Yet he already knew the demanding pain in his thorax wouldn't be any sort of grateful guest.

"So what brings you here?" Sanji asked.

"Ah." the man slid his hand over his braided beard, "My lease was up. Rather than renew it I moved out."

"What! What the hell did you do that for?"

"Don't raise your voice at me, Eggplant. It made sense. The Baratie's construction is almost finished. They haven't finished the upper floor though, which will be three bedrooms and a bathroom." he smirked, "Just in case you and the Delinquent are staying over. Separate rooms of course."

Zoro rolled his eyes before returning to their room, laying back down in bed and closing his eyes, willing this bad dream to go away so he could wake up and Zeff would be nowhere in sight. Sanji came in after some hushed conversation with his dad. "Love you babe." he said slowly, slipping into the sheets and pressing his body close before turning to face him.

"...Love you too." Zoro returned after a brief pause, unable to let Sanji's words just hang there. He wasn't mad at Sanji. He just wished that he had a less difficult father-in-law. Despite the things he said, Zoro did find it admirable that Zeff cared as much as he did about Sanji. It was something they had in common. And the man was his father-in-law after all. He wouldn't really put him out. Well...maybe. That was still up in the air.

Sanji got back in bed, slipping in close just as Zoro was about to ask about Zeff. But the snores from the man could be heard down the hall from the living room. "He's had a long trip," Sanji supplied.

"Only that man - and Ace - can fall asleep that easy." Zoro sighed, his arm going around Sanji.

* * *

They fell back asleep like that until, an hour later, when Zeff took it upon himself to noisily reorder the kitchen - much to Sanji's chagrin. Zoro never stepped foot inside there, aside from getting his holy grail of caffeine, or a beer, from the fridge. If anything was out of place, or the counters were ever left dirty, Sanji would have a fit. So Sanji certainly shot up out of the bed when he heard Zeff rearranging it.

Zoro just groaned and picked up his cell phone that he had left lying on the nightstand. It was still on, the battery mostly depleted, but hell, it would work.

He considered his options: staying here not being one of them. If he hung out with Franky, he would just end up hosting a pity party. Then they would get drunk and Franky would go between being able to breathe now that he was divorced, and suffocating in his own loneliness. If he called up Usopp, he would end up at the guy's place, probably _attempting_ to get drunk while he listened to the guy gush at how excited he was to get married and maybe get wrangled into moving the heavy stuff into their new place. And Kaya would be there too. Robin was out of the question; he and her were never particularly close, and as a lawyer, she was probably busy with a case or something to that effect. Ace would just dupe him into taking care of Luffy. Nami was a pain in the ass on a _good_ day. Brook was busy now that his music career had taken off, and Chopper was overseas as a medic in the army.

So Ace it was.

Zoro pulled a simple black shirt and pull-over hoodie on and then slipped out of his sweats to slip into a faded pair of jeans. He got his car keys and closed the bedroom door behind him as quietly as he could because of the door's tendency to creak, and slipped into his shoes.

The argument halted just as Zoro got his other shoe on, Sanji appearing in front of him so fast Zoro hadn't even seen him coming. "Where are you going?" he asked, more than a _hint_ of annoyance and frustration to his tone.

"Out." Zoro said.

"Out where?"

"None of your concern. I'm your husband, not your kid."

"What you do _is _my concern because you _are _my husband," Sanji shot back irritably, turning Zoro's own words against him. Zoro growled. Sanji had a way of getting under his skin, especially when they argued. But he hadn't planned on this turning into an argument. He had planned on sneaking out; but what was that about the best laid plans?

"I'm not doing this with you right now Sanji." he unlocked the door and slammed it closed before nearly running down the stairs and to his car, hopping in and pulling out before Sanji murdered him in cold blood for being dismissed like that. Sanji had run out to the drive way - and fearing he would hop in his own car and give chase - Zoro floored it.

By the time he got to Ace's - he sort of regretted not using his GPS - his phone was lit up with missed calls and messages. He rang the doorbell, Ace coming onto the speaker system. 'Who is it?' he asked.

"It's Zoro." The first door automatically clicked open and Zoro closed it behind him, taking his shoes off at the door, even though Ace couldn't have cared less. Said man opened his front door, hand spread out.

"So. What brings you to my humble abode?"

"Sorry for not calling ahead-" Zoro stopped amid his apology when he saw Ace wave the air and chuckle.

"Since when have I ever cared about those sorts of things? My home is your home, brother." Zoro followed him and they sat on the couch. "Want something to drink?"

Zoro shook his head, rolling his eyes playfully at his friend's carefree mannerisms. "Since I'm here, did you happen to need a sitter?" he asked with a chuckle, expecting Ace to say yes.

"Nah. I'm free today," he said instead, surprising him. "Was just gonna watch movies with Luffy and crash early." Luffy responded to the sound of his name, looking towards them from his automatic swing and pausing his previous fervent gnawing on a hamburger squeaky toy.

"Da-da," he said, offering the drool covered teething toy in their general direction.

"That's okay. Keep that Luffy." with that small permission granted, Luffy re-commenced what he was doing, biting the toy so hard it deflated, expelling all of its air and gasping for more with a sharp _squeak_ that made Luffy pause, giggle, and do it again. "Kids: so easily entertained." Ace commented offhandedly.

Zoro laughed. "I think that's just Luffy. And it probably has to do with the fact that his toys are all reminiscent of food."

"Yeah," Ace grinned, "you're probably right about that." he looked over at the analog clock hanging on the wall, a golden dragon that spewed fire. Remarkable craftsmanship, Zoro had to admit. "Well, time to put the little guy to bed."

Luffy allowed himself to be picked up and carried to his crib, but started bawling once his toy had been removed from his vice grip.

"You'll be fine," Zoro soothed, going over to him and lightly pushing the boy's soft hair away from his face. Luffy paused his hysteric crying, looking up at his 'uncle' with big dark eyes. Zoro smiled at the boy who was curiously watching him. "You're okay. You are a big boy." In response Luffy put his fingers in his mouth and kicked around, but otherwise did not resume crying.

Ace smiled. "You're good with kids, you know that?"

Zoro scratched the back of his neck. "I'm okay," he offered modestly. "I think you really have to have your own to know though."

"Don't be ridiculous. Luffy adores you. That's proof enough you would make a great father. Accept the facts here." Ace went to the fridge and tossed him a soda, even though he had already declined something to drink. "So what _really _brings you here? Because I know that it's not that you've just been dying to see my handsome mug."

Zoro chuckled, catching the drink on reflex. "As perceptive as ever, are we? Me and Sanji got into it." Zoro was going to leave it at that but Ace gave him a look that _told_ him to continue. "Okay, okay. We got into it because Sanji's dad is staying with us until his place is done being renovated."

"Damn. Livin' with his pops, ay?" Ace gave him a sympathetic look. "Rough deal."

"Yeah. And Sanji just doesn't seem to get that me and the old man don't get along. I've already _tried_ being civil."

Ace came to sit down next to Zoro, leaning his head on his chest. Despite what anyone would think, they were best friends. They had been especially close for a long time - Nami having betted when they were teenagers that they would get together someday. That was the first and last bet she had made after she had lost _fifty_ beri when Zoro got together with Sanji.

Though he wouldn't voice it aloud, and just thinking it made him feel more than slightly guilty, he wondered what life would have been like if he had married his best friend rather than Sanji, who at the time, was just a gorgeous face.

"Mm." Ace looked like he was starting to drift off. "Well I just hope everything works out. Wanna see you happy."

Zoro nodded. He wasn't too tired, unlike Ace who was beginning to snore and drool on his shoulder. But everything he said was always food for thought. And Zoro hoped it worked out _too_. Because he couldn't picture himself waking up everyday to an empty bed. And all this petty nonsense was juvenile. If he were in Sanji's place, he wouldn't turn down his own father in his hour of need, even though he would want to.

Picturing his own dad staying with them made his brow twitch. Smoker was flirtatious. And it didn't help that they happened to look so alike that once Sanji had accidentally kissed the man. It had been dark, but Zoro had been infuriated. He couldn't believe how shameless his own father could be sometimes.

But it could (with his misfortune that paraded itself around as his luck) have been worse.

_Zeff_ could be flirting with him. _Ugh._

And now that he had thought about it, the two hated each other. The two being Zeff and Smoker. It would be impossible to keep a room intact with the two occupying it together, much less living under the same roof.

Wait a second.

That thought gave Zoro a devious idea. What if he invited his dad to the wedding? Then the two would be so busy arguing that they would forget to pick apart every aspect of him. And then he would get a quiet night alone with Sanji. And then they wouldn't be arguing about respect and Sanji wouldn't be preoccupied with getting Zoro to bend over backwards for his father's wishes.

Zoro slipped out from under Ace, bringing one of the guy's pillows and covers from his bed and putting them on. All throughout Ace remained sleeping, his snores only deepening.

Zoro took out his phone, the battery clinging for life and beeping obnoxiously, and called his dad.

'To what do I owe the occasion? You haven't called me in ages Zo-zo."

"It's _Zoro_," he corrected. "Stop calling me that Dad."

There was hearty laughter on the other end of the line. 'Okay then. But you do need to call me more often. I _will_ show up on your doorstep and move in. Then you won't have an excuse to avoid your old man.'

"_No_, you don't need to do that," Zoro said a bit too hastily.

'What? Someone already beat me to it?'

"How did you-" Zoro started.

'Kid. I've got eyes and ears on the back of my head - had to with the way you wandered around - but that was just a lucky guess.'

"The point of this call was actually to invite you to Kaya and Usopp's wedding." Zoro deadpanned.

'To the point. Just like a Roronoa. Usopp's that poor big-nosed fella. Who's Kaya?'

"The blonde chick."

'_Oh._ Yeah, I remember her. Sounds great." he chuckled, "Then I'll get to see my _other_ favorite blond.'

"Don't even _think_ about touching Sanji." Zoro threatened.

'Wouldn't dream of it Zo-zo.' Smoker hung up before Zoro could tell him _again_ not to call him that.

He sighed. Maybe he was actually just making life _harder_ for himself.

The phone rang again and Zoro lifted a brow, surprised at the thing's vitality. He would have thought that it would have powered off by now. Then again, he had never bothered to download any apps so the thing took up minimal energy.

"Hello?" he answered, popping the top to his soda and taking a gulp, despite not being thirsty.

'H-hey. You weren't picking up so I - where are you?' it was Sanji and his voice was shaking so bad he could barely form a coherent sentence. 'I mean I'm sorry-'

"Shhh, babe," Zoro soothed. "I'm just at Ace's. And I shouldn't have walked out like that." Zoro quickly scribbled out a note to Ace, wincing apologetically at the chicken scratch, though knowing by now that his friend could decipher it.

He got his keys, locked both doors behind him, and got in his car. "I'm on my way back, okay?"

* * *

When he got there Zeff was asleep on the couch. Sanji opened the door and he hugged him.

"Sorry baby."

Sanji shook his head. "I'm sorry for overreacting. I'm just under a lot of stress..."

Zoro pointed to himself. "Share your burden with me. You don't have to carry everything on your shoulders." Sanji smiled at that." Besides, I am too."

Sanji nodded. "I know. Well, how about you help me start those cupcakes and I'll help you plan next week's training regiments?"

"You're a Godsend babe." Zoro lavished. But Sanji knew better than to trust Zoro with any cooking duties. He would probably end up doing the menial tasks such as setting out the proper measuring tools and taking the ingredients out of the cupboards. Unless he wanted to attempt to teach him how to cook, or in this case, _bake_, again.

Sanji chuckled but stuck his tongue out nonetheless. "_I know_. Who else would put up with you, Marimo?"

"Only someone like you. Dart-brow," Zoro added at the end, returning his husband's friendly insult. Sanji made a face and this time it was Zoro's turn to laugh, albeit a bit too loudly, only to have Sanji remind him that his dad was asleep on the couch in more or less of a whisper.

"_I know_," Zoro mimicked Sanji's previous words in a whine. "But I forgot. Seeing as it's quiet and peaceful right now." that only earned a raised brow from Sanji and Zoro followed him into the kitchen, resigned to his fate, though he was starting to feel the exhaustion set in. It wasn't like he had done much, and he usually had a lot of stamina, but he just felt drained today. Like the combined fatigue from the entire week had decided to come crashing down on him in that instant.

Zoro had ended up mixing the cupcake batter in a bowl and Sanji had pulled said bowl away from him to add a few fancy ingredients with a flourish. Zoro just put his arms around his waist and leaned his head on his shoulder.

"You tired?" Sanji asked, turning his head a bit. "Yeah..." Zoro trailed off.

Sanji detached himself momentarily to bend down to the cabinets below to retrieve his cupcake baking sheet, putting individual wrappers within each of the spaces and subsequently pouring the batter in each. Zoro reattached himself somewhere during the process, even as Sanji put, what would be no doubt delicious, cupcakes in the oven to bake. Sanji then began work on the frosting, handmaking each flavor; coffee and whipped cream being Zoro's favorite flavors of the ones he taste tested.

While they waited in the kitchen for the oven timer to go off, Zoro laid his head on him. Sanji sighed. Zoro was a big baby. Especially when he didn't feel good or was sick. He found it slightly more annoying than it was endearing.

"Love you," Zoro said so as to avoid being booted from the warm spot on Sanji's shoulder.

"Love you too." Sanji leaned his head down the rest on Zoro's own. "But you're not gonna get out of helping me frost the cupcakes."

Sanji caught Zoro's look - like his husband wanted to snap a finger and say damn or something - but Zoro nodded instead. It wasn't as if his frosting skills were enough to be hired over, but Sanji had a bunch of those fancy piping bags, and even he couldn't mess up _that_.

Zeff had woken up because of their playful banter that grew a little too loud from time to time. He had been meaning to say something, some smart aleck remark that would have Zoro seething, but had changed his mind as he quietly viewed into their private time. Zoro had said something that had made Sanji laugh so mirthfully and wholesomely, and the two shared a kiss. Though it wasn't deep, Zeff could clearly see the way his son's eyes shone with care. He _loved_ this man. However much of a delinquent he looked to be: with his three dangling earrings and unnatural looking green hair, this guy was making him happy.

Sure, he didn't think he would ever get over the fact that Zoro had taken his son, it was a paternal thing, but he'd cut him some slack. Well - for now anyway.

Trying to formulate a text, but failing with a hushed string of curses, Zeff gave up and opted for the old fashioned, _just-as-good_, if not better, way: calling. He was going to arrange to stay elsewhere. Not that he was doing this for Zoro's sake. If it were up to him he would annoy him until Kingdom Come and beyond.

* * *

A/N: I'm a notoriously slow updater so if I take too long with the second chapter, don't hesitate to bug me about it.


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